I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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