You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
