My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Hello my rib-scented angel!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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