im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My ass is underappreciated
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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