apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
