OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize