You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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