Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
