I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I fill condoms, not promises.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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