hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
