Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
