Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
