Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
