i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
