you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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