i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
