Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
How does it feel to date your dad?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
