This is not my ceiling
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
