i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
