No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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