There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
