he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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