She said her name was "party"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
