Jerry, you need to find god
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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