she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
