Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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