Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby

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  (508): Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby http://tfl.nu/pq9s
  Replies (5) Good night (631) Bad night (2655) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld

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  (407): You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld http://tfl.nu/gdg6
  Replies (51) Good night (3566) Bad night (404) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.

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  (610): My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/h8rn
  Replies (49) Good night (1023) Bad night (5389) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.

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  (817): My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday. http://tfl.nu/n9me
  Replies (20) Good night (894) Bad night (2696) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.

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  (415): And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked. http://tfl.nu/8nhm
  Replies (45) Good night (5364) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.

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  (801): let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room. http://tfl.nu/h78r
  Replies (13) Good night (755) Bad night (5533) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song

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  (401): Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song http://tfl.nu/c63n
  Replies (19) Good night (4729) Bad night (1209) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.

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  (818): I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking. http://tfl.nu/j1uf
  Replies (16) Good night (1195) Bad night (5122)
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  (951): View more from California

  At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?

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  (951): At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate? http://tfl.nu/y4sj
  Replies (18) Good night (4835) Bad night (997) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.

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  (903): Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis. http://tfl.nu/h9w8
  Replies (7) Good night (1899) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.

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  (510): This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland. http://tfl.nu/6qxu
  Replies (7) Good night (734) Bad night (1103) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help

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  (614): He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help http://tfl.nu/0uoq
  Replies (5) Good night (1466) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!

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  (512): I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate! http://tfl.nu/aytf
  Replies (11) Good night (1919) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.

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  (586): He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head. http://tfl.nu/0c7d
  Replies (11) Good night (646) Bad night (293) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him

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  (704): i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him http://tfl.nu/hqgs
  Replies (1) Good night (549) Bad night (163) Order T-Shirt

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