I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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