i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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