STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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