My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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