You work out of a Hotel?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
