i will never coherently bang her
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
