First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
