In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
