fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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