Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
