Where did you get a picture of my penis
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize