they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
