At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
