So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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