Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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