I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
