i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
