We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
