Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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