nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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