I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
