I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
