You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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