this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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