I love black thongs
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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