Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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