alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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