I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
