I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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