I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
