Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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