Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.