a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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