i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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