If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sext me about skeletons
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
